Gosh, it has been a few trying weeks with work deadlines and pressure, along with a lot of physical pain. I am not sure if it is a combination of these two that have left me feeling heartsore and vulnerable of late?

You see on the 16th of December it will have been my 10 year wedding anniversary, a special time for most couples and yet here I am divorced and heartbroken. The betrayals feel so raw and real again ... and suddenly I find myself crippled by a loneliness that no friend or family can fill.

I don't feel like myself lately and I don't know how to make it feel better. My faith is my stronghold and has been for many years now but at the moment I feel so distant. How can I make I make this all better?

I just don't know!

HANGING ON TO HOPE

I have been hoping, praying and waiting to find someone who loves me for such a long time, someone who can accept my curves, my illness, my hard-headedness, my passion, my nurturing and my crazyness and love me because of it ... not despite it! The wait continues and the doubt does surface from time to time ... but I refuse to give up hope.

It has been so hard and it still is so hard ... and lonely ... and painful ... I will not lie. So no matter the smile on my face there is an inner battle on the go. My soul is at war with my heart and it's a battle I am just going to have to weather alone ... standing on my foundation of faith.

I know my God, I know His promises and believe me when I say that they are all that keeps me going every day right now.

I am struggling to understand how someone you love intimately can choose to hurt you the person they love, how they can lie every day and not understand the devastation that will follow. Sadly I will never get answers to this as my ex-husband is no longer in my life ... nor is he capable of telling the truth.

I guess some things are just better left in a grey area.

MY DISAPPEARING ACT

Thank you for being patient I know I have been scarce and thank you for always listening, you guys are amazing. Cherish your relationships and partners, always be honest and most of all treasure each other ... it is lonely on the outside.

I will be back soon with some fun posts and info, my sponsored reviews may have slowly come to a halt, but I guess it is a season where I just don't need added pressure and where brands are reaching out to newer trendier blogs and that's okay. I guess that ultimately means this truly is my little space again.


Thanks for being here and I'll be back soon with more books, travel, restaurant and fragrance reviews as well as other adventures planned for 2018.